I recently stumbled upon an old journal entry. It was a prayer I’d written during Prayer Week, 2018. Now, before you think journaling is something I do regularly, or that it comes naturally, let me assure you: I hate to journal. One, journaling requires sitting down for an extended period of time…that is the opposite of “Ian-mode.” Two, I’m not a good writer, and I don’t like being reminded that I’m not a good writer, which is exactly what journaling does. And three, I’m stubborn enough to avoid doing what everyone says you should do, especially as a Christ-follower.
But periodically, when I’ve had a particularly meaningful Sabbath, or am more aware than normal of how desperately I need Jesus, I do journal. This was one of those times. It was right around the time I thought we’d be finishing up our search process for a Middle School Director, only to have to completely restart. Here’s a little snippet of what I wrote:
I feel lost. I hate how “not in control” I feel in this search process. I felt like this was coming…but I didn’t want to see it. But it seems as if you’re up to something. Will You show it to us? Can You please bring yourself glory by showing up? Make it big. Make a splash. Go before us. How amazing would it be if You provided the perfect person for us, right as I’m feeling hopeless.
I will choose to wait on You…what choice do I have?! Please show up. Give me YOUR peace. Demonstrate your power so that there’s no mistaking who’s behind it. Be our Guide and our Defender. If there’s something You are doing, reveal it to us.
As for me, I will serve the Lord. Spirit, make me holy as You are holy. Give me the joy I was once known for. And let me be your breath of life to others.
Earlier this week, when I came across this, I was overwhelmed. Lots of gratitude. Lots of worship. My heart kinda just spilled over with thankfulness and praise. NOW I can tell the story of how we saw God show up BIG. We got to see Him bring an incredible new person onto our team. His timing was perfect. There was supernatural unity about the decision. God went before us.
Shortly before Moses passed away, he spoke to Joshua, the man who would replace Moses and lead the people into the promised land, with these words: “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Man, I love that promise. Those words may have not been spoken directly to this 28-year-old reluctant Hoosier, but they absolutely apply, because they’re all about God. Different audience, same Jehovah. These words tell us who He is, how He relates to His people, and how we should respond.
Spring, version 2018, wasn’t great for me. I’m glad the seasons are changing (and not just because it’s finally warm). It wasn’t all bad, but I lost sight at times of God’s closeness. I was afraid and discouraged. It didn’t always feel like God was near.
So easily I forget the ways God has gone before me. He’s done it over and over again throughout my life. I can point to story after story of how God has shown up, how He’s spared me from things, or brought me into something. But it fades from memory…that is, until God graciously and faithfully drops in a reminder, just to demonstrate again that He’s got this, He’s got me, and He is going before me.
As we move from Spring to Summer, and rush from one busy season to a different busy season, be encouraged. God is with you. God is going before you. It doesn’t matter what you’re up against. It could be as small as a lengthy hiring process or as big as unexpected loss. The One who holds it altogether hasn’t left you. He’s there. He’s patient.
I’d love to hear the stories of how God has gone before you. I know Eagle people have all sorts of stories like that. If you have the time, please share them with me. Send me an , I’d love to read them, and be refreshed and encouraged. Let’s remember those stories together, and remind one another of this incredible promise.